So the actual birthday was pretty lame, but really on a Tuesday what else can you ask for. So last night I treated myself to my birthday present and went to Wichita to see Wicked. And I got to eat at Olive Garden! Hell yes! The whole thing was quite a riot. The play was quite awesome. I really really liked all the sets, those are pretty much phenomenal. Very bright and in your face. And I completely adore Defying Gravity. That is an AMAZING song on stage. And I like the second half better than the first half. Sort of disappointed in the person who played the Wicked Witch. She was not as cool as I was hoping for. Couldn't hold notes like i was hoping. But still awesome and completely glad I sprung for it!

Also thanks a ton to everyone who wished me a happy birthday! Can't wait to see most of you in December a few of you before then

Random fun fact for the day. If I could have a special ability I would want to see sounds as colors. Seriously how awesome would that be. And they don't need to be destructive, i'd just love to see colors with the sounds.

Random observation for the day. Why is anything musical that involves drug dealers (or things very similar) always have very guitar heavy rock music to go with it?

OH and by the way Bought the new TSO album. I'm already in love. But it have a Long ass story booklet with it

last night was a terrible terrible night. I went to bed around 11 ish and was woken up about 12:30 ish by a very very drunken neighbor from Minnesota whose girl just broke up with him. he was trying to convince me that I wanted to make out with him, and when I didn't he was trying to convince me that I wanted to go hang out at his place. Which i didn't. I know where my weapons are in my place. so whatever he hung here for about an hour because i did feel bad about that whole girlfriend broke up with him deal. So he tries to make a move and I kick his ass out. kudos for me, but then it was 1:30 in the morning and I was wide the fuck awake. so I sat up and talked with Pipsqueak and Erin after a while. finally went to bed again bout 2:30 to be woken up at 4:30 by Kyle for multiple hours on and off. apparently sleeping wasn't in my game plan last night. and apparently only drunk people want to make out with me. And then not remember it any more the next day. YAY drunken morons.

I want to fucking go home or go see Erin, or both

I'd lj-cut this but I can never seem to remember exactly how it goes and I'm too lazy tonight to dig it up from older posts. So feel free to skip as much of this as you like.

There are days when I find my personality to be very odd. I had one of the worst days of my life last Wednesday. I basically got accused of being racist, which is just horseshit, and proceeded to cry in my eval, and during my 7th hour class, which was the class that the eval was about. I cried an awfully lot that day and called Erin, and vented to Saddler some and still went to bed feeling like ass. Thursday morning I was still a bit out of it but my students beckoned and I taught. And it was a great day, and I was my sunshiney self again. And have stayed that way. Not because I'm no longer worried or pissed off about my eval, I'm still stressed over it, but I'm not. if that makes any sense at all. It is a constant befuddlement to me, that I do this. Most people I know would be upset about this for days, or it would hamper their lives in some way, and all it did to mine, I think, was encourage me to do something fun with my students. It confuses me that I feel I'm at odds with my Scorpio sign that I don't hang on to things forever and ever. Also that I'm such a sunshiney person so often. I have my days and moments and all, but a few of my teacher friends have told me that I tend to brighten up their days just by being me. Which again throws me for a loop that my natural anything has that much of an impact. Perhaps that's just insecurity but still.

Also, apparently I have a tendency to be friends with the "odd" people. The fringe people. I don't really fit in with what I tend to consider the popular crowd. Just to clarify, I love all my friends, i don't think any of you are social outcasts, and we are all popular in our own way. But Aaron (my neighbor at school whom I share a room with for an hour) originally was that person that I would want to hit if I had to spend mass quantity of time with. Now he's a pretty stand up guy and I prolly wouldn't mind spending mass quantities of time with. Would I want to drive home to MI with him in my car, prolly not but hang out with on weekends or some shit, hell yeah. And for those of you that knew him pre-laura, he's sort of like Josh use to be. We're not close friends like Fuzz and I were, but there's something about him that I think he could be. It sort of saddens me a bit that he doesn't trip the "let's make out" reaction in me, but I'm not entirely sure he's into girls anyway. He is, however, currently a huge hero of mine because he let me de-stress in his room on Wednesday and didn't ask me any questions and just let me be upset in peace. Plus he's a huge hot coco fan and lets me make some in his coffee pot. Generally though he annoys the hell outta Kelly and since Kels is prolly the closets to a "popular" friend I have it amuses me and worries me that I think he could be a good friend. Not because I give a shit about Kel's opinion, but because it begs the question, am I that outsider person as well? I know I'm not Miss Popularity, and most days I'm okay with it, I just have been wondering if I'm always going to be the awkward one? I commented on to one of my kids the other day (who is definitely one of the outsider kids) about having 1337 on his folder. No one else at his group had a clue what I was talking about and he was stunned that I knew anything about it at all. That was one of those awkward slaps in the face that tells me I'm not normal, or at least i don't see my self as normal in relation to what I assume is society's normal. At the same time I really like being un-normal. I like not fitting into stereotypes, but what does that me for me as far as a future? Am I going to find the same twisted kind of guy that could spend his life with me? Or am I doomed to find people like Rick hot, and then find out that he is a "popular kid" and has no interest in me, or is incapable of voicing said interest. I refuse to play that traditional role of girl chases boy because he likes the attention until I find out he's totally after some other chick. Why is it weird that pursue and when you don't show any signs of reciprocation, I stop? Oye. Sadly even now, while I ramble on about how I wish I was more socially acceptable, I know I don't really want to be. it would be no fun to be a girl who doesn't drive stick, or learn to kick ass, or shoot guns, or understand 1337 speak, or read comics, or play video games where i can kick your ass, or any of the other 1000 things that I do that makes me an outsider to typical social behavior. I simply wish I had my friends around me again that created the society that didn't give a shit and held the same interests I do. I miss Ashley, Jackie, Erin, Herzog, Ryan, pre-Laura Josh (even though I hope he's doing well now that's he's married the big idiot) and even Don, Graham, and Pat at some level because they all accepted that I was the chick I was (well Maybe Graham didn't entirely but still) I loves you guys and hope you have people around you still that don't make you freak out about your being, and that when you do you know that I'm here being just as odd and mold breaking as you are.

On a separate but semi-related note. I don't at all appreciate you blaming my brother. You have my number. Call it some times. It's a two way street. Me not calling you means much the same as you not calling me. And livejournal is not at all the place to say this but I needed to get it off my chest and it's not a big issue, just something I needed to mention for my own sanity.

Oh and pipsqueak is doing good this year, I am still the queen of BS but Ben is getting better at it. And he is getting along with Kelsea really well. Ironically he tends to have more info about Erin than she does because he talks to me regularly who talks to Erin regularly. I do believe I've rambled on pointlessly for long enough now. Thanks for bearing with the out-of-the-blue topics and sudden shifts.

Personally, probably one of the worst days of my life. Educationally, my classes were absolutely phenomenal.

It's been a while and I've been busy. Sorry Jackie that I've failed at life at keeping you updated. :-D

So the big exciting news is that I bought a new reclining chair for my apartment. It is a sad day when I finally admit that the blue chair is dead, but ladies and gentlemen it is indeed on life support. One day very soon it will fail to be revived and it will be hauled out to the eternal resting place, and a new younger model will be taking its place. Nothing can replace my blue chair but the new one isn't shedding wood chips, has a footrest that actually works, and isn't coming apart at the arm rests. I"m really excited that I've bought my first living room furniture. Like I was REALLY excited when I got my bed, and this isn't quite that level of awesomeness but it's pretty freaking sweet anyway. This may even lead to me getting... *GASP* a couch! but prolly not. Them suckers are expensive and I don't have the room for it. But the new chair is pretty damn awesome. Although it's brown, but I'm getting more and more use to brown.

Anyway last week was crazy. I've had a crazy amount of meetings. I've had to give up 3 of my 5 plan periods last week to crazy English department drama. I really just want that over with at this point. Then I am brown-nosing and joined our MTSS leadership team (Multi-Tiered Support System which is suppose to help us raise our test scores). Which added an after school meeting on Wednesday and an in service Thursday morning. Which meant I had to come up with subplans which SUCKS. Then there was a TAH and an IEP meeting Thursday after school, another IEP Friday after school, and I had a RD 180 meeting Monday morning like normal. Lets take a count now - that's NINE meetings I was in last week. And my dumb ass volunteered to be note taker for the MTSS team and so that's extra work there. Stupid having to brown nose. Plus lesson planning. And grading. Last week was a long and painful week of teacher related crap. Hopefully this week is better

So this week, due to hormones I think, I've been very sad and mopey about not having a someone to be with. It's causing an awfully lot of painfully impossible daydreaming and or wishing. You know it's gotten bad when your best hope is for one of your friends to get just drunk enough to make out with you on new years. Which isn't going to happen because I'm not sure there is enough booze in Jackson to get people drunk enough for that. Le sigh.

On a very random and vindictive note, I was right damn it. Kelly and I were arguing last Tuesday at Krav about Saddler's Dad's new gun that we got to shoot. I could remember it was the first strike fire Ruger had made, and that it was a semi auto but I couldn't remember what caliber it shot. Kelly was CONVINCED it was a 22 (which it wasn't because the only gun that shoots that is Saddler's walther) and wouldn't listen to me musing that it was prolly a 38 or 9mm. She just had to be right. Well when I looked it up it was Ruger SR9 and it is indeed a 9mm so what up now!

Now it's time for sleep. And for me to figure out who I can play Haaaaaaave you met Ted with.

So due to the brother's recent family paper, I've been having fun discussions with Kay and Saddler about it because they are older and provide a different perspective on things. From talking with Kay I've discovered that I don't really have an in between when it comes to differentiating between family friends and acquaintances. It's either Family or Acquaintances. There isn't really a friends that I wouldn't do anything for but I consider good friend. Which I never really thought about before. and now have been pondering for multiple days. And I can't really decide if I do have those people or not.

Then when I was just randomly chatting with Saddler I found out he has a lot of the same ideas and beliefs that I do which is kind of cool, but we talked about the idea that I may be friends with people not necessarily because I need to be friends with them but because they need to be friends with me. Which then got me thinking about how that would work, or if it would work, or who of the people that I've been friends with were people that I needed but that they didn't need me. Which leads into what is it that I'm suppose to be learning or gaining from my friends, or my life this time around in general. Which also lead into the conversation that I always feel left out of because I can't see anything extra like auras or ghosts and it never fails to make me feel unspecial. Even though I know it isn't a walk in the park. But really at this point and time of the 4 people I talk to all the time, 3 of them see extra somethings. Two of which see auras, which I think would be fun.

And now I've been wondering why I'm here, what is it I"m suppose to be getting outta life. How do my friends factor into that. How does my job. My education. My family. And unfortunately the people that I would really like to sit and chatter this out with, for the most part, aren't here to sit and chatter with. Because I'm quite sure Saddler would get bored with it but Jackie wouldn't and Erin wouldn't and I'm pretty sure Ashley would contribute and Pips would and all of you live very far away from me. And yes I know you're just a phone call away but for this stuff it's just not the same I don't think.

So that's my musings for the weekend. Love!

So my brother is taking a family comm class this semester and got to start it off by asking random questions of people and then putting it together into a paper. (yay college) But now that I have answered his questions and got to hear pieces of other people's answers I am very curious and analytical about the whole thing (basically what Ben actually has to do I'm doing for fun. W00t w00t english major what!) So here's the deal. You don't have to answer the questions if you don't want to but I'd like to know what you think. Or what you think of other people's or the whole thing in general.

Okay here are the three questions
-Define your concept of "Family"
-Define your family.
-Who do you consider family?

Here are my answers, Kelly's, Saddler's, and Sassy's not in that order.

What is family? Charity and I were talking about this. She feels that I have a broader definition of family.
Concept of Family - Those individuals with whom one surrounds one's self. Be it biological or relationship, or by outside force (ie those in the miliarty or those thrown together by disaste or chance)
Define my family: See above...I have those that I surround myself with (ie...my parents, Char's parents, friends {you and Sarah}). But the nucleaous is Char and the girls, then my folks and hers...then you guys (we'll still let you in the compound...even if you don't have the tank).
Who do I consider family? See above. (unless it comes to zombies)
One other note. Char brought up. I did not include those that I am biologically realted to, but do not associate with or can not stand. (ie my uncle). To answer that, I reply that we are merely "related...not family".

Part two. I asked Sassy if she knew what is a family. "yeah". Whose in your family, "yeah". Followed by giggling.
So I modified the question. I asked her who lives in your house, "Sassy, mama, papa,...kitty, dino...saur, hippo scary, no hippo nice." Ok, who else lives in your house? "yeah". "Grammie and Grampie". Ok, obviously one still missing. Do you have a sister? "yeah". Who is your sister? "yeah...ISA!" Does she live in your house? " Isa live here too, papa!" I asked whether you and the girls were family. Is Mr. Ben family? "yeah" Is Miss Sarah family? "yeah". Is Miss Kelly family? "yeah". And then there was a comment about Kelly and Sarah and something about a ponytail. I did not understand it at all.


Family is such a complex term because of the countless definitions applied to it. Personally, I believe our definition of family evolves as we age. For a small child, it is not necessary—and possibly extremely confusing—to go beyond the folks that are around fairly constantly (Mom, Dad, siblings, possibly grandparents). As we grow, we are taught that our family extends beyond those we are dependent upon and love; however, we are never really given any boundaries. Anyone with the tag “aunt,” “uncle,” or “second cousin thrice removed” becomes family by default. Throughout childhood, we associate family with blood relations and exclude those with whom we may have close emotional attachments, but to whom we are not ultimately related. By early adulthood, our definition of family begins to evolve into something wholly individual that will likely vary greatly, even from you to me to Saddler. I believe this concept or definition sharply contracts again later in life, once one’s own offspring are introduced. As Saddler mentioned, his kids became his first priority when they were born, perhaps resetting the cycle.

Defining my family is an extremely difficult task for me. I would almost have to dichotomize my family into subcategories, blood relatives and mental/emotional relationships. Perhaps “dichotomize” is not the best word, as there may be some overlap (the teacher in me is currently drawing a Venn Diagram). Ok, so let’s try calling them my family and my Family.

My family are the folks who, like it or not, I am stuck with for life. This family would include my parents, my brother, my grandparents. This would be my grandma’s half-sister who nearly got me thrown in a Canadian jail, and my dad’s cousins who I just found out existed a couple of years ago. Regardless, we are still connected on some level through our common ancestry.

My Family, on the other hand, are the people with whom I have forged my own bonds. We have connected in real, meaningful ways and are forever changed because of it. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for my Family. These are the people who know when to take things seriously and when to let things slide. These are the people who know when to catch me and when to let me fall. These are the people who show up in the middle of the night with a shovel and a six-pack and don’t ask any questions. These are the people I can turn to in any situation, and they are the ones I never have to ask for help.

So, who, specifically would I consider family? Well, for starters…

My parents: Even with our relationship being as crazy and sometimes strained as it is, that is one bond—or two, depending on how you look at it—that is never going to break. No matter what I do, I know they will always be in my corner cheering me on. No matter how far I go, I will always go home to them… even if it is only for a short while.

My brother: Chris and I have been inseparable since the day I was born, even if we do live 15 hours apart. I wanted to do everything my big brother did, and his ego loved every second of it. Even though I only see him two or three times a year now, and don’t talk to him much more than that, our relationship is still fairly seamless.

The Kansas Awkward Mormon-Jewish-Lesbian Family: When I think about it, I am always amazed at how close I have grown to my “Kansas family.” I have only known Saddler and his clan for about two years now, and Sarah for less than one really, but they have all become such an integral part of my life. I’ve talked to Saddler about things that I’ve never discussed with anyone else, nor did I ever imagine trusting someone to that extent. Sarah is one of the few girls that I have ever been able to get along with on something other than a superficial level, and I am so glad that we started hanging out last winter. (I am still amazed that we made it all the way across the Midwest without killing each other… I think it was the NSYNC.) Even Sassy and Isa have become a bigger part of my life than I ever would have anticipated (I really hate small children… they rather terrify me). I’m more surprised than anyone to realize that I actually enjoy spending time with the girls. I feel so strange and get a little depressed when I go for more than a couple days without seeing them. I haven’t the slightest idea what will happen to our little clan years down the road, whether we will all still be in touch in five, ten years. I would be surprised if Sarah or I are still in Kansas, and equally surprised if Saddler ever left. Even if I moved tomorrow, and never spoke to any of you again, I would still have to consider you a part of my family because of the impact you have all had on my life (for better or worse, I suppose…).

My concept of family is large and encompasses a lot. While it can consist of biological relations, it also includes people that I care deeply for. Also there is a hierarchy to the family structure for me. The people that I'm related to but rarely see or don't talk too aren't as important of family members are the ones that I do see and care for and communicate with. But again not biologically related family members figure in as well. My best friend ranks very much higher than almost all the rest of the biological family, she ranks right up with the core family group - brothers, sister, and parents. In fact if someone asked me to define my relationship with Erin, I would tell them she's my sister, she's my twin. She is more important most days, than my own biological sister.

My family includes my immediate biological family (parents, siblings) as well as the extended (aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents). It also includes good friends of the parental units (such as the Chenaults) as well as best friends and their families (Saddler and his children, Erin and her family, Ryan and his family, siblings significant others, Kay and her children, Jackie

My concept of 'Family" is a layer cake with each layer getting bigger as you go down the cake. Most layers have names. The top (and) smallest is "My Family". Next is my Immediate Family, then Aunts and Uncles, then Extended Family and finally Family Friends. the first three layers require blood relationship, while the last two do not.

My Family - April, Me, Virginia, Alex, Sarah and Ben (Parents and children)
Immediate Family - my parents, brothers and sister, April's parents, brothers and sisters
Aunts and Uncles - my aunts and uncles and April's aunts and uncles
Extended Family - my cousins, April's cousins, Erin, Wayne and Vickie (roommate and wife) Jasmine, Josh, Pat (Tuthill) and others. Usually these are people that I have socialized with or invested personal time with.
Family Friends - These are the people that you associate with a lot during your life. Included in here are people I have worked with, my ham club buddies, church people, neighbors.

I think answer #2 has answer #3 embedded in it. Family are people that have been part of my life over a significant length of time. Typically, life events have usually happened with these people over that period of time. Can a pet be family? Not likely in my case but I wouldn't explicitly rule it out. Can and ethnic group be "family"? Again, not likely but I wouldn't say absolutely not. I guess my most general statement about family, to me, is the need for an emotional attachment, either directly (blood relation) or through a life event or buy sharing life event histories over a long period of time.

the concept of family can really be described in two ways i think. it can either be the few wonderful people in your life that will be there awlays and have unconditional love for you no matter what. or they are the people that are just as weird as you are and arent afraid to say their related to you when you do somthing stupidin public.:P

my family is prolly the best one out there. umm we a pretty close group of people that tell each other how are days went everday hoping to hear they went good and if they dont we ask who do we have to beat up today? ;) we're really crazy and tons of fun. my family has tons of people with hearts the size of texas. we love each for who we are and theres nothing more we can ask for:)

i consider all relatives of course as family but i aslo consider those really close friends family to. they are the people that mean the most to me.

So things I have learned part one:

1) I have to move to KS to meet someone from CMU who knows my uncle Bob
2) I also have to move to KS to meet people from PW who ironically know Justin, Joe, Beth, Bill, Dan, and Tammy and totally agrees that Bill is the coolest
3) I am surprisingly ok with pseudo-friends of mine smoking but I don't tolerate it well in anyone that i really care about
4) Turns out smoking doesn't automatically make you unattractive, just makes me rethink whether I actually want to jump you or not
5) I miss hanging with people that aren't married with kiddies (nothing against the people I hang with but I do miss not having to be quite and watch my mouth)
6)I can NOT wait to see Erin tomorrow!

7) It is AMAZING to not be a first year teacher!

DUDE, hottie got less hot tonight because he smokes, sort of and I'm not really into that. BUT he was totally macking on me as well and that's very exciting for me. And hopefully get to hanging out with him tomorrow night. Even though I wish i was hanging with Erin, I'm sort of excited that I get to hang out with him, maybe tomorrow I'll get to really lay some mack down. Yeah... prolly not but just wanted to update on the hot guy status

There are lots of job issues already this year. Le sigh.

I have a bruise on my jaw. And it was awesome!!! Thank you G!

I have a bow staff that Dennis let me borrow and I love it!

Saddler's parents feed me and let me stay at the farm. It always makes me feel a bit less homesick

I passed my CCH class. 150 bucks and 30 days later and i'll have my CCHL! Thank you G

So the follow up single for the Lost Lambs is going to be a death metal rebirth called "Snot in the Wind" And it will be amazing! also based on an unfortunate true life incident at the Zoo involving my Brother standing up wind of Aunt Tish and I. I know we joke about Mom sneezing on us, but Ben really did. It was mildly disturbing. But is going to make for a FABULOUS death metal song.

I miss my family.

i have so many dirty nasty things to say about today but it makes it all better that I get to hang with my daddy and aunt tish

So i know everyone is eagerly awaiting the update so here you go. Did the 'play it cool thing' and didn't stalk him yesterday and just dropped in on him briefly today about how his first full day day. poor guy is getting screw with his licensing thing. damn you Praxis. Haven't figured out if he's interested or just being friendly yet. Did learn the other day though that he's a big MMA person so hopefully we can check out a fight sometime.

Freshman suck. I sucked at Krav tonight. My feet hurt.

So some of you may have heard my whining about wanting some hot guys to check out this year, or at least wanting some sort of newbie that's at I can mack on. I may have found one. If nothing else he is pretty hot so at least there is something to look at. But he doesn't seem to be repulsed by me, he sat and chatted with me for a couple of hours today. He happens to be a Michigander like me which is cool. He grew up in Grand Rapids and went to State which is tolerable :-D But from what I gather he seems like a pretty cool guy. SO YAY having at least new friend if nothing else. I would really like there to be something else. I really miss having someone to curl up with or smooch or generally do things with that isn't married. OH and as a complete after thought, I found out he's a sucker for a chick in heels. HELL YES

ALso in other news my phone is being wonky and I can't really see my screen so texting is sort of pointless and useless to me at the moment. Call if you need something it's easier.

School starts tomorrow. blah

So while doing the bucket list for Facebook because i was bored I realized just how much of the stuff that i wanted to do and would have ended up on the list 5 years ago i've actually accomplished. I learned to drive stick, and drive it well. I made my own friends that didn't rely on Josh or Mary to be friends with first. I've learned to load, unload, find the safety, and shoot guns appropriately. i made it through college in 4 years with my degree and I'm doing what I wanted to do. I've been back to Colorado, and road tripped to lots of other various states that I hadn't been to before. I've lived on my own, and I'm on better terms with my siblings than I think i ever have been. I have two best friends that are the kind that I'll be hanging out with when we're all 70 and retired. I own a big girl bed with every intention to buy the rest of the bedroom set. I'm learning to fight - for reals, not just half ass stuff like MMA in college.

It seems very crazy for me to think about how much of the stuff that I wanted to do in my life I have now, and how a lot of the stuff on the list now is stuff that takes a chunk of time to save up for or things I can't rush like my hair growing out. anyway random babblings.

The Bucket List

Instructions: Make a list of 100 things you want to do before you die. As you cross one off, add another one. Let your friends help you complete your list. You can even turn it into a game! Keep your goals measurable and place a time frame on them.

1 Go skydiving
2 Go parasailing
3 Read all the books that I keep meaning to read, along with the ones stacked up on my bookshelf
4 Be awarded for a teaching award that I actually feel means something
5 Collect cards from every state, only after I’ve visited them
6 Spend at least a summer in Ireland
7 Travel around Europe, with and without family and friends
8 Live near Erin for a long long time
9 Have more than 2.5 children
10 Get Jackie to sign her first famous graphics art book.
11 Go see the Operas that I keep meaning too and just never do
12 Sit in really awesome and amazing seats for a Phantom of the Opera show
13 Learn to ballroom dance
14 Own my own home
15 Play board and card games with my friend on a weekly basis
16 Acquire a very large back tattoo, along with a music tattoo that involves Erin and Jackie’s talent
17 Have professional photos taken of me that I don’t hate and think are ugly
18 Own a library in my house like the one in Beauty and the Beast
19 Create an underground and hidden set of rooms that includes a hidden accesses that are book cases and fireplaces
20 Get really dolled up for some fancy affair
21 Own a SumoSac of some sort
22 Revisit Japan and the temples I saw there
23 Visit Las Vegas

Wow 100 of these are really hard to come up with

24 Learn how to throw knives
25 Spend a week on a beach somewhere remote without computers or internet and very limited phone access
26 Spend a different week being pampered with Erin and Jackie (I really miss them)
27 Hear Isa win a fight with Sas
28 Be around for one of those phone calls about Sas and her language/fighting skills
29 Travel with the Michigan’s Lion’s band again
30 See a hockey game in JLA
31 Wear my hair in a pixie cut in very ridiculous and bold colors
32 Have hair down to my butt for a very short while because it would be very heavy to tie back.
33 Own dresses that reflect very classic and classy cut that actually flatter my figure AND aren’t hideously atrocious
34 Go on a cruise to very warm climate
35 Wear a skirt or a dress consecutively for 6 months
36 Wear shorts often enough to tan my legs
37 Play atari games on a HUGE flat panel plasma HD TV
38 Be completely surrounded with friends that don’t look down on my sex life
39 Tell Blake to his face that his tattoo makes him look like a 14 year old crack addict and that Kelly Daniels is one of my best friends and damn it she’s hot and sexy and all mine. Or at least for this purpose she’s all mine
40 Find a religion that actually fits my religious beliefs
41 Own a dancing Shiva statue for my imaginary front room (well imaginary at the moment)
42 Lose about 10-20 pounds to drop the tummy flub. Not a lot because I like being curvy but I probably need to lose some weight to be a bit healthier
43 Work out on a regular basis

No seriously this is really freaking hard to come up with.

44 Learn to quilt
45 Learn to sew
46 Find a beer that I will drink on a regular basis Tecate, yay Mexican beer!
47 Randomly buy very ridiculous sex toy gifts for the people I care for
48 Wear very loud and obnoxious shoes to school on a regular basis
49 Dress up like a gangster (circa 1920s) in school
50 Dye my long hair Blue, Purple, and green, but not all at once, that’s just crazy.

And screw it I’m only coming up with 50. I would be here all night if I thought up 100.

Apparently boredom will let me number them all.

i just fucking love it when the school changes the date of a training and DOESN"T INFORM PEOPLE! I don't at all mind that I've been planing around this damn thing for weeks and now I get to plan around it some more because they changed the fucking date. Hope you rot in hell RD 180 training day.

I"m finally almost done with this damned book i have to read for my teaching American History stuff. Granted I knew it was going to be American History and all but this book sucks ass. it is indeed a very brief over view of America and all but it leaves out huge chunks and explains very little. And this last chapter is killing me because it's about the beginning of the US as an actual country and all the economical issues we had. I hate Econ. I really really HATE econ and I hate it more this way because I don't understand half of what these people are trying to tell me. goo. But i only have about 20 pages left so I should be done with it by sunday.

Retorical question of the day - what is it that Kelly has that makes all the boys jump? And please dear lord no references to milkshakes and boys coming to the yard.

In a completely unrelated note - is it weird that I have pictures of Saddler's kids on my desk tops and on my phone? and does Ben. And Kelly. Now don't get my wrong, i have adorable pictures of Isa, the one on the laptop has her with a mohawk which i have dubbed the Isahawk. And the one on the extra monitor is Isa eating a plate and smiling real big. And then the one on the phone is another Isahawk. They're cute but that's a lot of Isa and she's not so much my kid. She's Saddlers. But she is cute. you can see it on Facebook if you want to. which might also be creepy that she's on my facebook but I'm rolling with it.

Also I think I'm going to take Charity out for a movie and dinner or something that gives her a night off. I hang with Saddler a lot but not so much Charity. I think she is less crazy than I use to and actually have a decent time with her when it's just us hanging out watching the kiddies.

Right so rambling sorry guys. Loves you all!